


Champagne and Whiskey Kisses

by Kerniculis



Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: Also James will end up being a lot more effeminate than he actually is in the show, Also this is James-centric BUT other characters will feature heavily, Clare WILL get a girlfriend I promise you, Erin and Dee is so influential despite being in one episode ugh, F/F, F/M, M/M, The whole cast will feature, Warning has been given, will add more tags when necessary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2019-11-18 04:35:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18113399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kerniculis/pseuds/Kerniculis
Summary: James didn’t expect to be taking care of a drunk Michelle while wearing Jenny Joyce’s spare pyjamas; and he certainly didn’t expect to be doing it with David Donnelly of all people.But, as James learns, unexpected doesn’t always mean bad.





	1. Chapter 1

“Remind me again why we’re going to Jenny fuckin’ Joyce’s on a Friday night for a sleepover,” Michelle snapped, checking herself out in Erin’s mirror. The blonde girl looked up, eyebrows raised, while Orla tied up her hair and James fiddled with a Rubix cube he found. 

“Because I think introducin’ Dee to our crowd could be good for him,” Erin explained, checking her chest out in the mirror “y’know, breakin’ boundaries an’ that..” Michelle quirked one of her eyebrows and jerked her head to the door, which was slightly ajar.

“Is that why you left him down there with your ma, da and granda,” Michelle asked. Erin turned to her scoffing, but then she heard her grandfather’s voice float up the stairs and into her room, barely audible over the music playing. 

“Have you joined the Orange Order yet,” Joe asked, to be met with protests from Gerry “shut your gob you southern shite! I’m only askin’ the wee fella a question.” Erin’s eyes bulged out of their skull, before she ran down the stairs, skipping steps in an attempt to reach the landing faster. 

“No! Granda, leave him alone!”

Michelle fell into screeching laughter, while Orla took no notice as she began to eat some food that Erin brought up for them to share. James looked up, just to see Erin reappear with a red faced Dee. Despite this, the tall noirette smiled when he saw them all.

“Michelle..you’re the girl with the huntin’ knife..wee gay fella, how are ye,” he said, turning to look at them in turn. James wrinkled his nose at what Dee said and narrowed his eyes.

“I’m not..ah, it doesn’t matter,” James said, returning to his rubix cube, while Dee and Erin started talking in hushed tones, giggling to themselves. At this point, James didn’t care if people heard him protest or not. They didn’t either, it seems, since they kept doing it. He crossed one leg over the other, and creased his brow in concentration, twisting the toy in his hand.

“Where’s Claire, I want to leave at some fuckin’ point,” Michelle snapped and Erin checked the time, sighing in annoyance “fuck it, I’m goin’ without her. See you on the other side folks.” Just as she reached the door, the curly haired girl heard Claire’s voice getting louder in conversation with Mary.

“Great, she’s here. Now can we leave already,” Michelle asked, eyes widening “if we don’t go early enough, all the free drink’ll be gone, won’t it?” Michelle lead the way, almost barrelling into Claire at the top of the stairs. 

The night air was dry and vicious, but they were thankful it wasn’t raining at least. Erin and Dee’s hands teased each other, but neither would hold the other’s. Michelle rolled her eyes and whispered to James “Christ, they’re actin’ like a bunch of fuckin’ puritans.” James nodded in agreement, but said nothing. 

They could hear the music before sight of Jenny Joyce’s came to them. None of them could quite comprehend the full size of Jenny’s house. Michelle began to pull ahead of them; she was tantalised by the idea of free drink. The curly haired girl was already downing cups of alcohol by the time the group of them had coalesced around her.

“Right, I’m off to get me hole,” Michelle said with a inebriated grin “I’ll be seein’ you.” Immediately, she fell over, before scrambling back to her feet, and down one of the many hallways that formed the labyrinth that was this house. James looked to his left, only to see Erin and Dee chatting, their bodies close. He turned to his right, and saw Orla devouring the snack table. And Claire was nowhere to be found.

“Fantastic,” James muttered, crossing his arms in annoyance. He turned to Orla and bit his lip. Well, it wasn’t SO bad. Orla could be fun to talk to..if you ignored her eccentricity and oddness. The curly haired girl almost seemed to be inhaling food, and her hands seemed to be an omnipresent blur that hovered over the table.

James ended up grabbing a drink, and sipping it at a leisurely pace while standing next to Orla. He really, REALLY, didn’t want to be seen as though he was a loner at Jenny’s party. He was already called ‘limey’, ‘gay fella’ and ‘traitor’, so he didn’t want another label plastered onto him.

However, after a while, Orla drifted away from James to discuss something with Erin, and Dee simply stood there awkwardly, almost as if he was a mediating force for the girl’s conversation.

Great, there went James’s one chance at preserving his already low social standing.

So, with a heavy heart, James started to explore Jenny’s house.

Fortunately enough, it didn’t take long until James found something that demanded his attention - violently so. As he ascended the stairs, he became increasingly aware of a loud, disgusting sounding retching that seemed to reverberate off each wall to reach James.

He shuffled slowly towards the sound, until he reached one of the many bathrooms of the house, and Michelle leaning over the toilet, her lip dripping some vomit. She paused, as if welcoming James, before more puke was expelled from her body. David Donnelly was behind her, rubbing her back with a slightly sickened expression. 

James didn’t know David very well. He was very much a supporting character in James’ experience in Derry. All he knew was that David was in a band, and that Erin had a crush on him. Or, did, before Dee entered her life. 

David turned back to meet James’ gaze, and thinned his lips and gave a courteous nod. James returned it, before crouching down next to Michelle and cringing at the display before him. Michelle turned to James, her expression dazed and offered an incomprehensible string of words.

“I wan’ed tee get m’hole, but’all I got’was..” Michelle trailed off, her eyes rolling back, before she lurched forward again, and more vomit burst forth from her mouth. This time, instead of sliding down the porcelain rim of the toilet and into the swirling water of the toilet, it landed on James’s top and his trousers.

There was a delicate silence, before Michelle slumped to the floor, snoring obnoxiously. David’s mouth was agape at what just happened, before he grabbed Michelle’s arm, and nodded to her other one.

“Here, you grab her other arm, and we’ll bring her to Jenny’s spare room,” David ordered, and James did as asked, and wrinkled his nose in disgust as Michelle’s limp arm pressed the chunks of her puke into the fabric of his trousers “that’s rough mate.” 

James didn’t reply, and instead let David lead him towards Jenny’s spare room. James tried to avoid making any eye contact with other guests as they guided Michelle’s unconscious form down the hallway. However, it seemed fortune was not in their favour as they encountered a shocked and disgusted Jenny.

“Oh my god, what happened to her,” the brunette exclaimed, her voice squeaky as ever “and what happened to you?!” Her eyes landed on James, where the vomit still remained on his clothes. James rolled his eyes, not expecting Jenny to not be able link the two situations together.

“Michelle threw up on James,” David said, adjusting his grip on Michelle’s arm, and for a moment, James was surprised that David remembered his name “can we stick her in your spare room? They’re all staying over with you anyway, aren’t they?” Jenny looked conflicted before sagging.

“Fine, go on,” Jenny said, but then rounded on James “but you need to change out of those clothes. Let me see if I can find something for you to change into!” Before James could say anything more, Jenny skittered down the hall, expertly weaving between the drunks of the party.

David eventually lead James to the spare room, which was strangely isolated from the rest of the house; James didn’t know whether this was a good or bad thing. David laid Michelle on the bed and pulled a blanket over her, and Michelle shifted, but nonetheless, remained asleep.

As if on cue, Jenny entered the room, and handed a stack of clothes to James. “These’ll do, they’re just some spare pyjamas I had,” Jenny smiled, and James couldn’t help but look at the clothes bewilderedly, and Jenny must’ve noticed, because she then added “and if you have any problem with that, then you’re welcome to stay in those rotten clothes. But if you do decide to wear the clean clothes, I can clean the dirty ones you’ve on you!” Begrudgingly, James sighed and nodded, and Jenny smiled. However, at that moment, there was a crash outside the room, and Jenny wordlessly rushed out of the room.

James looked at David almost in a prompting way, but David just looked to his sides, confused. Biting his tongue, James retreated to a corner of the room, his back to David, before stripping down to his boxers. He didn’t want to even turned around, because he was sure that would only increase the awkwardness tenfold.

James looked at the pyjamas in disgust. It was comprised of a soft, fluffy pink top and a similarly textured white pair of bottoms. Accepting the situation unhappily, James pulled the pyjamas on, and left the clothes on a pile on the floor for Jenny to retrieve when she saw fit.

James turned back around to see David, with what appeared to be a blush on his face. James was about to say something, before Jenny came in, sweat tinging her forehead. She smiled when she saw James, and picked up the soiled clothes with a disgusted expression.

“They fit grand, don’t they,” Jenny commented with a proud smile, and continued when no response was given “you two are gonna have to stay here to watch Michelle. Because it wouldn’t really be fair to leave one of you here, would it?” David surged forward to protest, but Jenny fixed him with an uncharacteristically icy look, which silenced him immediately.

“I’ll bring drink and all that stuff in for you in a few minutes, alright,” Jenny said, and left without waiting for a response. A delicate, fragile silence settled between the two boys, and James found particular excitement in a thread of fabric which was sticking out of the top’s seam. David gave him a once over and barely contained a laugh.

“Pink..pink suits you,” David uttered, before giggling, and covering his mouth to stop any more laughter coming through. James sighed, and settled in for an achingly slow night.

True to Jenny’s word, she provided them with a few beers, a comfortable amount for each of them to drink. The silence was occasionally punctuated by David clearing his throat, or Michelle snorting in her sleep, and shifting suddenly. 

James did not expect for his Friday night to turn out like this; dressed in Jenny Joyce’s pyjamas, taking care of a drunk Michelle with David Donnelly of all people. David’s eyes flickered to James every so often, and each time they did, James felt like he was under a microscope. James, for a moment, looked back to meet David’s gaze, and felt his face flush the instant their eyes connected. 

“Here, I have an idea for something to do, because we’re hardly gonna be silent the whole night, are we,” David said suddenly, in a forceful tone that surprised James. He tore his eyes away from James to grab another drink, and sat back, relaxing into his seat.

“Alright, have you ever heard of ‘never have I ever’,” David asked, and James scoffed, his eyes narrowing.

“Of course,” James said, finishing off the last few dregs of alcohol left in the glass bottle, before fetching a new one “‘m not a caveman.” David smiled, before swirling the drink around.

“Alright, I’ll start,” David said, and thought for a moment. James could feel the frosty atmosphere in the room melt away as the seconds ticked by, and was honestly never more thankful to be in such a quiet room. James knew if they were in the center of the house, they’d be interrupted constantly or even dragged away from one another.

He was making another friend, why shouldn’t he be enjoying a quiet moment with someone new?

“Never have I ever...cried at a movie,” David said, and James thought for a moment, before looking down and taking a large gulp of the drink. David quirked an eyebrow, and James knew he was waiting for an elaboration.

“Ok, but don’t laugh!..I cried at Cinderella when they ruined her dress! I mean..” James trailed off in laughter when David started laughing as well. Once they died down, David shook his head in light hearted disbelief.

“Favourite movie as a wee lad or..?”

“Well..no...this was..last month,” James admitted, and David let out a roar of laughter, leaning forward in his seat, and didn’t even bother to cover his mouth this time “hey!” David swiped at his eyes, but eventually calmed down enough to be able to form sentences.

“Sorry! It’s just..I didn’t expect you to be a Disney princess fan,” David said, his sentences punctuated by hiccups, before he added “then again, you are wearing pink, so maybe you’re a Disney princess yourself.” James scoffed.

“Shut up, David.”

“Whatever, princess.”

“Anyway, never have I ever..been arrested,” James said, diverting the attention back to the game, and he smirked triumphantly when David reluctantly took a sip of his drink “what?! David, you have to explain, now..”

Long after they finished their drinks, people began to leave the party, stumbling across Jenny’s garden, and some through her meticulous displays of flowers. James was on the verge of sleep, but was waiting until Erin, Claire, Orla and Dee arrived with their stuff like sleeping bags. David meanwhile, was planning on returning to his friends where they were staying, but he was already so comfortable where he was...

After a few moments, David spoke up. “James,” David said, his words slightly slurred “can I ask you somethin’?” James grinned.

“You just did,” James said and let out a long, drawling laugh.

“Shut the fuck up,” David said, and stretched to wake himself up “can I?” James shrugged and nodded, sitting up, his eyes showing signs of exhaustion already.

“Does..does being called ‘the wee gay fella’ annoy you,” David said, and seeing James sit up straight, mouth thin, made David shake his head dismissively “I don’t have a problem with gays if that’s what you think. I like Claire and I love Queen’s music! I..sorry for asking.” David sat into his chair, eyes closed, his stomach turning uncomfortably.

“Yeah.”

“What,” David asked, eyes snapping open, and he turned to James. James exhaled deeply, before letting out a hum, staring at the floor.

“Yeah, it does,” James said “because..because I don’t know if I even am! I kissed Katya for Christ’s sake! Everyone just assumes I am, just because I’m not like you or Dee, or..” James trailed off, mid sentence, and the conversation died. David waited for him to continue, but realising he wasn’t going to get a response, began talking. 

“Well..are you,” David asked quietly, barely above a whisper. The black haired boy saw how James tensed, but didn’t apologise this time. After what seemed like a thousand eternities, James finally spoke.

“I don’t know.”

James turned to look at David, and the curly haired brunette didn’t know whether it was the drink, the exhaustion, a mix of both, or something else entirely, but he saw David in a different light. The way his dark hair looked perfect to run his hand through, or his expressive eyes that communicated a feeling James didn’t know, or the way he licked his lips, coating them in saliva that made them glisten in the light of the room...

James felt his stomach flutter the longer the stare remained and didn’t break. His chest clenched and his he became more and more aware of his breathing. James wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. Something compelled him to keep the stare, to match David’s energy. In that moment, nothing existed in that room, but them. 

Then the door opened.

Dee and Erin stumbled in, giggling drunkenly as they allowed Orla and Claire to squeeze in. Claire wore the same, anxiety ridden expression she always did, and scowled at Dee and Erin taking up a corner and a number of pillows and a large blanket. Orla swayed in the light, and Claire handed David a sleeping bag and pillow.

“Your friends went home,” Claire explained, and David quirked his eyebrows “they told us to give you your stuff, and you can get home yourself, they said.” David simply shook his head and took up a spot on the floor, his tender mood which was tinged with a comedic edge, now replaced by a moodiness as he turned to the wall to avoid looking at anyone.

Claire didn’t even question what James was wearing; she only gave him a queer look, and handed him a pillow and blanket, before crawling into bed next to Michelle and beginning a fight for some duvet of her own. James looked around, and saw that the only free space was next to David.

James settled in next to David, and offered a small smile, but David was already asleep, his face vacant of any expression. James lay down and faced the ceiling as Claire reached over to turn off the light, plunging the room into darkness.

However, as James was pulled deeper into slumber, he pondered..

Did he really see David lean forward to him before everyone walked in, or did he just imagine that?


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing James noticed when he woke up was the pounding inside his head. He needed to remind himself to never drink again. He had only drank a few times in his life, but this was by far the worst hangover he’d ever experienced. 

The second thing he became aware of was the assault on his senses that was taking place. A thin crevice of light was peeking through the curtains and hitting him directly over the eyes, which James was sure was contributing to how he was feeling. As well as that, Michelle’s obnoxious snoring was ringing throughout his head, and James was at a loss at how nobody else was up at this rate.

But then the third thing came, a flood of memories crashing to the forefront of James’s mind. They were shrouded in a haze of inebriation and exhilaration, but James could still remember clearly what transpired last night. But, to some extent, he wished he didn’t.

Last night, he as good as came out to David Donnelly, of all people. David Donelly, Erin’s previous crush, and someone James knew in his periphery. Why did he do that? It was the drink, James assumed. That’s what he was going to say at least. Better than telling David that he meant everything he said last night.

Then a minute, fine detail came to his mind; although veiled in uncertainty, James was split whether it had actually occurred. Right before everyone interrupted their conversation, stinking of alcohol and screeching with laughter, James was sure David began to lean in..like someone who was looking for a kiss would.

James shook his head, and berated himself. David Donnelly wasn’t gay. Or bi. Or whatever! James liked to think that he could tell whether someone was gay or not, and David certainly didn’t strike him as such.

You couldn’t tell Clare was gay.

James bit his lip. That was true. Clare certainly defied what he thought a lesbian to be; self assured, outspoken, and well...not Clare.

A sudden thump outside the door, followed by it swinging open to reveal a beaming Jenny snapped James out of his train of thought instantly. Jenny clapped her hands, startling everyone except Michelle out of their stupor, and offered her signature larger than life smile smile.

“Breakfast is upstairs for you lot,” Jenny said softly, and James was astounded that she managed to radiate such brightness after a disastrous house party “David’s already up, so I expect the rest of you up shortly.” Erin shot Jenny a particularly venomous look, before placing her head on Dee’s chest, groaning. Once Jenny left, a dark eyed Erin was already falling into slumber once again.

James had already been up for a while, so he was already making his way down the hall while the rest of them were struggling with either getting up or choosing to return to sleep. James eventually reached the kitchen, and saw David standing behind the counter in a plain shirt, wrinkled from sleeping.

“Mornin’ princess,” David said with a slight smirk and, seeing James’ confusion, shook his head with a soft snicker “you said last night that the only movie you’ve ever cried at is Cinderella, and you were wearin’ pink, so...” The memory came back to James immediately, albeit patchy, and his face went red. 

“Oh...yeah,” James said as nonchalantly as he could muster, despite his embarrassment at the term. The curly haired teen walked to kitchen isle where David was standing “sleep well?” James reached over to grab a bowl and a box of cereal, before walking over to sit down at the table, his eyes purposefully averting David’s. Hopefully David wouldn’t push social interaction upon him. 

“Yeah, you,” David responded, and walked from behind the counter towards the table. James looked up for a moment, but blanched when he saw that David wasn’t wearing pyjama bottoms, and thus, was only clad in tight, black boxers. James looked intently at his cereal, ignoring David’s question.

Before anything else could be said, Jenny walked into the kitchen, pants in hand. “Here you to David,” Jenny smiled “nice and dry! There’s still a wee bit of a stain, but you know yourself!” David smiled politely and took the pyjama bottoms, before leaving the room, and Jenny then rounded on James.

“James, your clothes are clean if you wanna go get them,” Jenny said, and pointed to the door to the hallway “they’re up in my room. You can leave my pyjamas on the floor, and I’ll wash them later on!” James quirked an eyebrow at the perpetually perfected girl.

“But I didn’t get them dirty or anythin’..”

“Oh I know, I just want to wash them just in case,” Jenny said, and James opened and closed his mouth, too stunned to reply, but ultimately nodded and started walking to the hallway. He saw the door to the spare room open, and Michelle, Clare and Orla emerge. Michelle teetered as she walked and almost fell onto James as she entered the kitchen.

“Hi Jenny,” Michelle said in a tired voice as she passed the curly haired boy. Clare looked at her with narrowed eyes as they sat at the table.

“That’s James, Michelle,” Clare corrected and Michelle shrugged.

“Both annoyin’ as fuck, both a pain in the arse, both of them start with J, same thing,” Michelle rambled,- be Jenny’s lips narrowed the more Michelle spoke. Wanting to avoid witnessing an inevitable confrontation, James made his way through the house to Jenny’s room. She had only said it was upstairs, but not which room.

“Christ..” James muttered as he continued down another winding hallway, and the curly haired boy had a sinking feeling he was no closer to finding Jenny’s bedroom than he was solving the troubles.

Eventually, thanks to directions from Jenny’s frantic mother, James found Jenny’s room, which was as neat and perfected as the girl was herself. Jenny’s mother made a point of mentioning that David had gone for a shower in Jenny’s bathroom, so James wanted to get in and out as soon as possible without running into the noirette. James saw his clothes folded tidily on the bed upon entering, and wasted no time in stripping down to his boxers once again to throw on his now soft clothes. 

As James pulled on the clothes, he became aware of how..tight they seemed. James’ suspicions (and fears) seemed confirmed when he caught sight of himself in Jenny’s mirror. His top and trousers had shrunk in the wash, and as a result, James could see his midriff between the rim of his top and trousers; at the polar opposite end, he saw his trousers rise up to just below his shins, and he felt that they were much tighter than normal.

“God fuc-“

Without warning, James heard the door to Jenny’s ensuite swing open, and David stepped into the room, a towel wrapped around his waist. He stopped dead in his tracks, his hair wringing wet, and James instinctively covered his midriff with his hands. A pregnant silence filled the room, until David cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Are you sure you’re not just borrowin’ Jenny’s clothes now,” David asked, nodding to James’s exposed skin “here, it might be tight but at least it isn’t pink, yeah?” James rolled his eyes and shook his head, before walking to the door, and threw David one last glance before turning the corner towards the kitchen (he hoped that’s where he was going). 

It was a struggle to get the girls and Dee energetic enough to leave Jenny’s house. It seemed they were much worse off than James was. In fact, he hadn’t even heard of what they got up to. Erin and Dee seemed closer than usual, so James was glad a separation wasn’t on the cards. Michelle just got drunk it seemed, but he didn’t even see Orla touch a drop of alcohol. And he just didn’t see Clare at all.

The walk back to Erin’s house was quiet. Well, except for Orla’s nonsensical statements and Dee and Erin’s quiet giggles. James wasn’t sure that them being so open romantically, especially in Derry, was a good idea, but he certainly didn’t want to spoil their fun. Anyway, he was too busy making sure Michelle didn’t walk straight into the road. 

Once in Erin’s, James wishes he wasn’t. They were met with yelling from Mary because Erin, accidentally or purposefully, neglected to tell her mother that they were staying at Jenny’s for the night, and she was spending the night pacing and worrying.

In the midst of this, Joe had turned on Gerry and accused him of being to blame, eliciting another argument, with James, Michelle and Clare in the lurch. Michelle turned to James, eyes closed in annoyance, and said “maybe we’ll just walk home, aye?” James nodded instantly, and the two bade only Clare goodbye, before walking back into the cuttingly cold air.

“Sorry for throwin’ up on you last night,” Michelle said, and before James could react in any way, she added “don’t even fuckin’ expect me to say it again, ‘cause that will make me sick.” James nodded and continued walking, pulling his jacket closer around him.

“Jenny said you and David took care of me,” Michelle continued, barely audible over the howling wind “that true?” Again, James nodded without saying a word, and she gave James the once over.

“Wow, you managed to spend time with a lad and not get killed, props to you,” Michelle said with a sarcastic edge, as they turned into their street “you used that time well, I’ll say that much.” James gave Michelle a confused look and she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, turning to meet James’s perplexed gaze.

“You fuckin’ eejit, I heard you basically tell David Donnelly you’re as bent as a fuckin’ circle,” Michelle said bluntly, and James must’ve let some sort of expression cross his face, because Michelle then continued “I’m not gonna say anythin’.” James stayed silent, his anxiety now reaching a height he didn’t knew existed, but when Michelle continued once again, it increased critically.

“Here, we need to talk,” Michelle said with an almost aggravated sigh, as she pushed her way into the house.

Oh, Christ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update for you guys, that even I’m surprised about! 
> 
> I don’t have time to look over this, so apologies if it’s clunky or if there’s grammatical errors! I really do care about my writing, it’s just I don’t have time to edit honestly. 
> 
> Question for you guys: Is there anything you WANT to see in the future of this fic? Don’t be afraid to let me know and I’ll do my best to include it to the best of my abilities!
> 
> Thank you all, and please remember to read and review if you can!


	3. Chapter 3

Michelle gave James an almost predatory gaze, like he was a piece of particularly juicy meat, and the curly haired boy adjusted awkwardly where he was sitting. He purposefully avoided her stare, and took an intense focus on a bird sitting alone atop a telephone wire.

“Alright, since I’m gonna have to drag it out of ya,” Michelle said in an irritated tone, as if she expected James to spill his guts without notice “a few things. Firstly, did you fuck David Donnelly?” James looked, bewildered, at his curly haired cousin, and stuttered as he spoke.

“N-No Michelle! What the actual cock,” James replied, his face heating up quickly “no, we didn’t do anything! Christ..” Michelle didn’t look fazed at all by James’ emotional reaction, and continued on with her questioning, much to James’s chagrin. 

“Are you gay or not,” Michelle asked bluntly, and James was so perturbed by the question, that he just stared silently at her. Michelle raised an eyebrow and shook her head expectantly, and James could only stutter awkwardly around the question.

“I-I..Michelle, I..I mean..”

“It’s a simple question dickhead,” Michelle snapped, and James sighed. He clearly wasn’t going to evade the question, especially with someone as forceful as Michelle. He looked to the ground, then back to Michelle, and he was surprised to see her expression soften. She gave out a slow, heavy sigh. 

“James, I know we all say you’re gay, but are you,” Michelle repeated her question, this time much more gently, but still with a firm undertone “none of us give a flyin’ fuck, I mean it.” James bit his lip and zoned in on the repetitive pattern of the blanket he and Michelle rested on.

He never really thought about it on a deep level; and for good reason. He didn’t want to confront the probable fact that he liked guys; he didn’t want to think about it, or admit it. Least of all to Michelle, who’d either use it to make fun of him or say it to the girls, where it would spread like wildfire.

But Clare walked around, not ashamed of her lesbianism at all. They wore rainbow pins for god sakes! Nobody cared, and the closest to a negative reaction they got was from Sister Michael and that was because the pins were a uniform infraction.

But James was no fool. He had heard horror stories through the grapevine of gay couples in Northern Ireland being bashed and murdered, and that was enough to make him puke at the mere thought of being assumed to be gay. Maybe that was the reason he snapped at people when they even hinted at the possibility?

Or maybe it was a mixture; confusion, fear, and ignorance of himself. He always saw himself getting married with a woman, getting a 9-5, loveless job, having a few kids, before kicking the bucket within the throes of old age. Because...that’s what people did. At least, the people he talked to and interacted with. That’s what he assumed awaited him.

Michelle tapped his knee, and raised her eyebrows, awaiting some form of reply. James opened and closed his mouth a few times, searching for the right words in the haze of his mind, to sate Michelle’s ravenous search for the truth. But how could he hide it from his cousin? The person he was closest to in Derry (despite how much it unnerved him to realise)?

“James,” Michelle asked, her tone flat “are you gay?”

And then, moments later, with an almost imperceptible nod, James’s eyes turned glassy with tears, and he felt a strangled sob force it’s way through his throat and spill out of his mouth. Michelle was taken aback for a moment, before she pulled James in for a hug, which unsurprisingly almost seemed to cause her physical pain. James latched onto her and let another sob rack his body.

“Dry your eyes James,” Michelle sighed softly, and though her words were rough, her voice was gentle “no one cares! We really don’t!” James knew that she was right, but all the pent up emotions he had ignored for so long just came out at once in a single, searing moment. James finally felt like he had opened up for once in his life.

After a small while, James ended up, curled at the foot of Michelle’s bed, while Michelle sprawled out over her bed with a pensive expression. James’s eyes were slightly bloodshot, but he knew the cry had done him good. Following several minutes of silence punctuated by James’s occasional hiccups, Michelle spoke up.

“You know you’re gonna have to tell the rest of ‘em, right,” Michelle said, and James’s eyes swivelled to her “you can’t keep this from them.” James remained motionless for a few tense moments, before speaking in a tremulous voice.

“I know,” he croaked “but I..”

“You what,” Michelle interjected, her fiery personality returning with a vengeance.

“I..don’t know if I’m ready,” James finished, and Michelle rolled her eyes. James may have liked when Michelle was comforting rather than her usual self, but he had learned to appreciate typical Michelle. He could only stand the pitiful nature of her for so long.

“James, do you think you’ll ever be fuckin’ ready,” Michelle asked rhetorically “look, it’s up to you, but I think it’d be better to tell them.” James pondered her words in complete tranquility, before relenting with a sigh.

“Fine.”

*

It didn’t take long for all of them to be gathered in Erin’s room, their de facto meeting place. Michelle had remained extremely cryptic about why they should meet up, bun insistent that they do, so it wasn’t a surprise that Erin seemed annoyed by the five of them coming together out of the blue. Orla remained dismissive of the situation, instead choosing to bop along to a song in their head.

“Well,” Erin asked, eyes flickering to Michelle and James “are you goin’ to tell us or what?” Michelle shrugged and turned to James, tilting her head, and James could feel everyone’s gazes turn to him. His face heated up, but he steeled his resolve and spoke.

“I’m gay.”

There was no reaction for a moment, before Orla nodded, almost mystified by the statement. Clare looked confused by the admission (how could she be confused by that?), whereas Erin seemed to be the most neutral, having next to no reaction.

“Well,” Michelle prompted, eyes jumping to each of them rapidly. Orla was the first to speak, in her usual, faraway tone.

“Aye, that you are James,” Orla said with a sagely nod, and James’s anxiety decreased slightly. Clare turned to look at the three of them in turn, before shaking her head in usual Clare-like fashion.

“When did this realisation come about,” she inquired, before waving her hands “not that I’ve a problem with it, obviously, but is this a recent development or-“

“Well he was shittin’ it about telling anyone-“

“What Michelle MEANS is that I was anxious about coming out in Derry,” James interrupted, jabbing Michelle in the side to stop her speaking in her tracks “not that I didn’t trust any of you or anythin’..” Clare smiled sympathetically (which James expected from her), before she pulled James into a tight hug. No words were said, but James knew so many things were put into into that hug that she didn’t know how to articulate.

“Well, Erin,” Michelle asked, turning to the last member of the group with a gaze that screamed ‘choose your words carefully’ “are you gonna keep doin’ the silent treatment, or what?” Erin shook her head and smiled, but to James it seemed almost artificial.

“No! It’s fine,” Erin said, and turned to James “I’m glad you told us James, really.” James looked to the three girls with a growing smile. He was about to speak, before Mary’s shrill voice cut through the atmosphere like it was nothing to her at all.

“GIRLS! IT’S GETTIN’ LATE, C’MON,” Mary screeched, her voice audible even at the distance she was away “your ma’s’ll think you’ve gotten into some kind of trouble at this point!” Michelle rolled her eyes, jumped to her feet and turned to James when he didn’t do so right afterwards.

“Well come on then dicko, do you want to stay here or go home,” Michelle snapped, and James rose to his feet. However, right before they left, Erin made a beeline for Michelle, and dragged her over to where she was standing by the elbow.

“Michelle, wait, I need to talk to you,” Erin said, and James expected Michelle to do what she usually did; brush Erin off with a needlessly abrasive retort, but something must have transpired between them silently, because Michelle then turned to James and jerked her head to the doorway.

“James, wait downstairs, Erin needs me for a second,” Michelle said, then added “today dickhead!” James obeyed and walked downstairs, while the four girls remained in Erin’s room. James felt somewhat put out that he wasn’t included, but if it just included the four girls, he presumed it was a strictly female problem.

Yeah, on second thought, he didn’t want to be there.

Michelle did eventually emerge from Erin’s room, this time with a softer expression than usual, but once her eyes returned to James, her features contorted back to reflect an expression of anger. James immediately started walking out the door before Michelle could give him a sharp, brutal insult, and was hit by the cold, cutting air the second he stepped out of the house.

“You and me have stuff to do tomorrow,” Michelle said, and her words seemed final and decisive. James furrowed his eyebrows.

“Do I not get a say in this Mich-“

“No you don’t dicko,” Michelle snapped. James shook his head, choosing not to argue with his cousin; and, as he walked, began to think back over how much a single day changed how he approached Derry.

He had opened up to four girls who he could know call his closest confidantes. He-

“Would you hurry up dickweed!”

...and Michelle hadn’t changed one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, another update. I don’t plan these, I promise. These bursts come to me randomly, and today I got a huge urge to write, so..here you go!
> 
> The next few chapters won’t be heavy on James/David interaction honestly as I don’t want to rush into that aspect too quickly. But it will happen, I promise you!
> 
> Again, if you want to see anything in particular in the story, please tell me! And I’ll incorporate it as best I can!


	4. Chapter 4

David awoke with a start; he could hear screeching below him, as well as the clacking of plates as they were aggressively shoved against each other. His father and mother's voices escalated in pitch and volume, and he could already tell that the argument wouldn't end resolutely and they would recover; they'd just bury it, only for the emotions to bubble back to the surface.

Turning his head, he saw his young brother's eyes bore into his own, and David noticed how they were glazed with tears. His heart ached, and he slowly scooted his way to his brother, careful not to disturb the wood so his parents knew they were being heard. David lowered himself onto his brother's bed, and gave a weak smile, which his brother didn't return.

"Will they quit soon," his brother asked in a broken voice, clutching his duvet tight, knuckles almost pearly white "I don't like when they yell." All David could do was give a small, almost pitying laugh to the boy and pat his curly black hair, which roused a small, groan from his younger brother.

"I don't think any of us like it," David said, sitting forward slightly to anchor himself to the floor "and they'll stop. They always do.." the problem David saw was that they always start again when given the slightest provocation. Even in public. David recalled one notable incident where they couldn't resist throwing fiery insults right in front of one of his teachers, much to David's shame. His teacher did not approach him for the next few days, either out of fear of the boy inheriting such a temper, or pity.

"Cunt!"

David heard a loud door slam follow, and screwed his eyes shut, as if that would lessen the pang in his heart it gave him. He squeezed his brother's shoulder, as if to convey some emotion of comfort to him, but he didn't feel it translated, due to the stiff nature of his brother's stature. Finally standing up to creaking from the floor, he looked to the door, and didn't waste any time in getting dressed. His brother made a noise behind him reminiscent of a groan, but David paid him no mind as he continued to clothe himself.

David, fully dressed, although somewhat messily, made his way to the door, before throwing a look to his brother. "Get dressed quickly," David ordered, his lips forming a thin line "I don't want you gettin' shouted at." His brother, clearly sick from shouting, nodded feverishly, and scrambled to where his clothes were, and left a chuckling David to shut the door and continue down the stairs.

The wave of noise approaching him as he got closer was not shouting any more, but people talking and the incessant buzzing of a radio on the counter. His mother had his back to him, her back hunched. He caught sight of her reflection in the mirror, and couldn't help but cringe slightly at how ashen she was. Still, he didn't comment, and sat next to a young girl, no older than eight at most.

David's family was notoriously big, even for a place like Derry. His parents refused to even entertain the idea of contraception ("Aye, I'll betray the Pope's word when you become a Priest"), and as a result, David had many, many siblings. Five brothers and four sisters in total; one sister, Katherine, was in London, and sent money back when she could, which kept them afloat for the time being. The rest of the family was with David in Derry.

First there was the youngest, Nuala. Almost close to a newborn, she was several months old. She was beginning to get a grasp of the world, much to David's sympathy. She looked around with curious eyes often, and grabbed at everything she could. In passing, David tickled her chin, which elicited high pitched squealing and babbling.

Next was Tommy; a toddler, he was perpetually active, which David did his best to sate by playing sports with him, but it was easier said than done. Whereas most people, David included, would get tired the more they did, Tommy seemed to THRIVE on tiredness, and got more and more excitable the more he remained active, which only caused him to continue playing..and getting more energetic.

Next were the twins, Sarah and Maeve. Both eight, they were so similar, David just resorted saying their names at a mumble to avoid admitting he had mixed them up. They loved everything feminine, from the colour pink, to dolls, to the latest chick flick, even if they couldn't understand what was the message behind the movie; when David ruffled each of their heads while beside them, they reacted with shock and anger, and began combing it back in place.

Then there was his next brother, Martin; just beginning his teenage years, he was a polar opposite to David. Almost eternally paranoid and nervous about something, even if he didn't have reason to be, he spent every waking moment studying, so he could get a good job and leave Derry, though he wouldn't say this to either of his parents who loved Derry.

Next was David's elder brother, Christian. He was, as a lot of the girls David talked to put it, "a manwhore". David didn't want to think about his brother having sex, but his reputation as a chauvinist often haunted the entire family; in school, in church and even in the safety of their own home, when they once got a rock through the window as vengeance for Christian sleeping with some girl behind Big Mandy's back (what Christian was doing with Big Mandy, David didn't want to know).

Then there was Kevin, the eldest boy. A boy who's only emotion seemed to be anything masculine, David connected with him the least; all Kevin could seem to talk about was sport, women or work. David didn't find them to be the most interesting topics of conversation, so he simply kept Kevin at arm's distance, and made non committal murmurs in conversation when it arose.

Traipsing down the stairs last was Gerald, the middle child. Meek and shy, and often ignored, David had made it his duty to speak up for Gerald when he couldn't himself. Gerald regarded David with a small smile as he sat in the vacant seat beside the dark haired teen, and tucked into his meal.

It seemed everyone had heard the argument minutes before and was avoiding confronting it by using their food as a distraction. Their mother seemed to agree, as she occupied herself with washing up. David looked between everyone, before asking "what's everyone's plans for today?"

Nuala babbled aimlessly, which David smiled at, drawing a giggle from the infant. Tommy said something about "runnin' and stuff", which David didn't want to push, instead choosing to nod and move onto an ecstatic Sarah and Maeve.

"Well," Sarah began, capturing an air of superiority around her "WE'RE going to Kelly Joyce's house-"

"Because she's having a slumber party," Maeve continued, with the exact same expression plastered on her round face "and we got invited. And-"

"We're gonna search the WHOLE house," Sarah finished, as though it held some merit as an activity "David, you were there Friday. Is it nice?" David thought for a moment, before shrugging.

"'S alright," David shrugged, swallowing a piece of bacon that sat atop his grease slicked plate "nothin' too spectacular like, it's a house." Beside him, Kevin let out a half laugh, half chuckle, clapping David on the back.

"D'you meet anyone there," he asked, which caused their mother to turn to them with wide eyes, as if Kevin had said something earth shatteringly explicit in front of innocent children.

"Enough of that Kev," his mother snapped, her voice cold and sharp, which made Kevin retract his hand instantly. David looked to Kevin slightly and shook his head, before letting his fork land on his plate with a clatter.

Friday was lost in a haze of alcohol, smoke and general exuberance. Until he had to take care of Michelle Mallon, who was almost black out drunk. He had to take care of her with her cousin, an English boy named James Maguire, while he was sat in Jenny Joyce's spare pyjamas; seeing as how his were destroyed by Michelle's vomit.

David didn't expect to connect so well with James, but talking to him felt so easy; like..they connected with each other on a level many people didn't connect on. He remembers the laughs they shared, the moments that brought a smile to his smile, as well as the moments of silence that weren't awkward, but necessary to let their conversation truly marinate.

David didn't know what it was, but James had struck him.

"Here, I'm off," David said, bringing his plate to the sink, which his mother immediately snatched up, and began scrubbing furiously "see ya." He pressed a kiss to his mother's cheek, before bidding each of his family members goodbye and rushing outside, guitar case in hand.

He was busking in the shopping center today. Usually, he would write a song or something, but two out of four of his band mates was sick, and he didn't want to write songs on his own, since it was a collaborative process. So, he might as well make a bit of money while doing what he liked.

He set up right beside a bench and a photo shop run by a painfully smiley man. 'Must've had it sewn on or something,' David thought, staring at the man's uncomfortable wide smile. Pushing that thought out of his head, David began playing, his dulcet voice ringing throughout the mall, albeit slightly drowned out by the mall's stock music.

Just then, he heard a familiar voice, riddled with unnecessary expletives. Continuing the song with a much more reserved feel, he forced his eyes to the entrance of a shop he recognised as expensive, and honestly, not that good. Coming out of it, their arms heavy with bags, was a somewhat elated Michelle, followed by a sheepish James.

David stuck out his chin in greeting, and Michelle, seeing him, dragged herself and James over, with Michelle smiling a little too widely to be completely natural. James was a little more conservative in greeting, simply waving and scratching his neck awkwardly, which David couldn't help smile at.

"Buskin' today," Michelle asked, raising an eyebrow, and David nodded, with a neutral look "here." Michelle flipped a coin into the open guitar case, which David strummed a few strings for in thanks. Michelle gestured to the bags with a wide smile, and David suppressed a kernel of jealousy at the extravagance.

"Me and James here just bought a shit ton of clothes," Michelle explained, as if it were a cryptic thing up until this point "turns out my English prick of a cousin knows fashion pretty well." James blushed and crossed his arms, shaking his head.

"N-No, I don't-"

"Yeah you do," Michelle snapped, and David didn't know whether she was being complementary or aggressive, before she turned back to him with a lucid smile "he was tellin' me what did and didn't look good an' all that. Spent a fortune, so I did." James's eyes widened at that, and he spoke to the floor.

"On your mum's credit card too," he added, and Michelle turned to him with fiery eyes, and David could sense the venomous insult that was barrelling towards the English boy, which elicited a feeling of sympathy for the brunette.

"Well of course it's my mam's fuckin' credit card," Michelle snapped, the bags swaying domestically "I'm hardly gonna use my own fuckin' card because I don't have one." David smiled, though it was somewhat uncomfortable, and Michelle turned back to him.

"Lovely talkin' to you David," Michelle said and began walking away, and for a moment, it was just James and David. James wore a soft smile, and David grinned at the brunette, the action almost coming involuntarily. However, Michelle immediately grabbed James's hand when she saw that he wasn't following, and dragged him with her as she spewed insults at him. David watched them go, and David looked to James before they turned the corner outside.

_James's got a great arse._

_Wait, what?_

David blushed to himself, and started strumming his guitar as if that was to banish these thoughts away. David had had a few of these thoughts sparsely, but he could ignore them. Lads had these thoughts often enough anyway, right? It's part of growing up.

He hoped, anyway.

•

It was hours later when David finally decided that enough was enough, having made a decent amount of money. He'd have to give a bit to his mother and father, but at least he'd have some for himself. With the sky darkening, he walked back home slowly, enjoying the atmosphere.

Derry, for all its bombings, sectarianism and history of oppression, was a pretty good place to be.

_Well, it didn't sound like it was._

But David liked it. He liked the people he'd met so far, and he liked what he had going so far insofar as his music career was going. He'd gotten gigs here and there, but nothing spectacular. But at his age, he'd hardly be performing at Wembley, would he?

Turning the corner to his estate, his mind wandered again. This time, to Erin's group of friends, but most important, James. David sighed, and his walking almost slowed to a total freeze in pace as his mind travelled over thoughts of the English brunette.

In all honesty, he knew himself that liking lads wasn't the norm. Most lads didn't have thoughts about lads, or ogle them secretly when he got the chance. But some did. And some grew out it. David wanted to be in that percentage that did, if out of ease than anything else.

He feared the world if it came out he was like this, as one of those people others considered freaks even if it was true he hadn't really changed. People didn't accept deviation from the assumed, especially in Derry, let alone with a family as devout as his. It hurt him to even consider something like his family not accepting him, it really did. But if was like this, he couldn't exactly hide it, could he?

That was if this wasn't a phase, which David wanted it to desperately be. And if it wasn't?

Well then, David was screwed.

Shaking his head, David forced these thoughts from his mind. He was home now, on his doorstep. Beyond the door, he'd be able to embrace ignorance of himself, a currently loving family, and distractions from his life at the moment.

So, with an almost plastic smile, David opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok sorry for the huge update gap, life has been so busy! I got a job though, and college is nearly over! When it’s summer, updates will be a lot more frequent! Trust me! 
> 
> Anyways, again, leave in the xomments anything you want to see in the future chapters and I’ll do my best to accommodate!
> 
> Also: this chapter was finished when I had legit no sleep and I’m super tired, so I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes or inconsistencies, I’ll be sure to correct them when I can! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

James did not like spontaneity. He never liked anything to be sprung on him, and that didn’t change when he arrived in Derry. He liked security; he liked to be aware of things and his surroundings. That didn’t exactly pair well with Michelle’s fiery and off-the-cuff attitude.

This was none better exemplified when Michelle sprung on James that he and the girls were going out to a local club, for no other reason than, in Michelle’s words: “To get fuckin’ plastered.” James didn’t get a single word of protest in edgewise, before Michelle dragged him up the stairs, rambling about outfits and who she wanted to have sex with.

“Two lads have been givin’ me the eye lately,” Michelle explained, walking into her room hurriedly, dumping clothes onto the bed quickly “one’s fairly good lookin’, but one of the girls from school says the other is really good with his hands, y’know?” James could only nod absently with a confused expression, as Michelle held up a pristine white dress with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m thinkin’ either this one, or..this one,” Michelle said, and held up a second dress by the hanger “the white one is more expensive, y’know, but the black one does wonders for me hole.” James grimaced slightly, and his eyes flickered between them. His mind was still trying to catch up with everything, but that wasn’t enough for Michelle.

“I’m not waitin’ here all day for you to finish fantasising about cock James,” Michelle snapped, and James did a double take as he was brought crashing back down to earth by Michelle’s harsh words “now, again, the white one or the black one?” She shook both of them, and James stuttered out an awkward reply.

“T-The black one,” he said, and Michelle, without hesitation, chucked the white dress back into the closet, and turned to James. James could see a glint in her eyes; not menacing as he was expecting, nor annoyed like he was accustomed to. No, this look was studious, and James felt an impulse to squirm underneath her gaze. It felt almost as though it was piercing him. 

“You can’t go out dressed like that,” Michelle said finally, and placed a hand on her hip with an eyebrow arched “Christ knows I don’t need people takin’ the mick out’a me because you couldn’t be bothered your arse gettin’ dressed nicely.” James just shrugged, offering no words (what could he even say?). Michelle, with an annoyed sigh, threw her hands up to heaven. 

“Christ, why do you make everythin’ fuckin’ difficult,” Michelle huffed, and looked around, as if an outfit were waiting for him in midair, before she pointed out the door and across the hall to the spare room where he was staying “what about the stuff I bought you yesterday? Where some of that!” James just blinked rapidly, incomprehensibly, and and blushed.

“Michelle- no! I can’t wear that stuff, it’s too..”

“What? Do you not trust my judgement,” Michelle exclaimed, turning to him with a fiery tone and a furious expression “go in and wear SOMETHIN’! And somethin’ nice, ‘cause I don’t want my reputation ruined ‘cause you look a right state.” James knew (or assumed, or even hoped) that Michelle’s words were coming from a caring place. With a deep sigh, James trudged over to his room, and once he had left Michelle’s room, it’s door was shut with a resounding slam. 

In truth, James did trust Michelle’s fashion advice; it was just that he didn’t trust the wider community of Derry to not have an adverse reaction when they saw him wearing anything other than muted browns, greys and blacks. If he came out in drab colours, however, he knew Michelle would react with a vicious insult as well as vitriol throughout the night. But was he really going to risk his safety by making himself a target-

“James if you don’t come out here in the next five seconds, I will murder you,” Michelle snapped, and James sighed. Ok, maybe he would. Anyway, he had been up and down the streets of Derry constantly, so nothing would happen tonight..right?

With a loud gulp, James started to get dressed, silently cursing Michelle for choosing the loudest clothes possible. The most conservative thing she bought for him was a pair of light jeans, but even they were high waisted, and definitely would’ve looked out of place among everyone else. Add to the fact that Michelle bought him a tight white t shirt, and a jacket of pink, green and purple, and James knew he was walking with what was essentially a target on his back.

James knew Michelle was trying to be good to him by buying him clothes, especially since she spotted he had an eye for fashion, but she was moving too fast for his liking. He didn’t want to fully embrace that side of him, especially since his step father had taught him that “men didn’t like clothes”. James couldn’t just switch to liking it, even if he did.

Still, what was it to Michelle? He wasn’t going to say no to her, especially when she was already riled up.

So, dressed up a bit more than he was used to, James joined Michelle in walking down the stairs and out the door, with Michelle clutching some alcohol to down before they actually reached their destination. 

James knew he was in for a long night already.

•

David had barely come back home before he was bombarded with both Christian and Kevin firing question after question at him, which he mostly answered with grunts and ‘yeah’s. However, when he sat in a seat, he was quickly pulled out of it by Kevin and Christian.

“We’re goin’ out tonight,” Christian explained, backing away towards the door nonchalantly, with a lopsided smirk “get ready, we leave soon.” David furrowed his eyebrows, but Kevin didn’t take notice of his reservedness, and instead laughed excitedly, and clapped him on the back a little too roughly for the noirette’s liking, who fixed his older brother with a paralysing glare.

“Chin up David,” Kevin laughed, leaning back in his chair “you might actually have fun - remember fun? Who knows, you might actually find a girl who can stand you.” Kevin, once again, laughed, and David ignored him, and walked to the stairs, ascending them in record speed with Kevin’s laughter chasing him all the way up.

Truth be told, David would much rather stay at home, with his guitar and his own mind. Hell, he didn’t think drinking your weight in alcohol was going to make good music, was it? But he could hear Christian and Kevin talking, the excitement in their voice obvious. Would it hurt David to indulge in this type of thing, at least once? For their sake, more than his own?

Yes, a little voice in his head piped up stubbornly. 

Well tough shite, David responded to himself, and did a visual sweep of his room. It was in a messy state, but ultimately, manageable. David caught sight of himself in the mirror, and cringed somewhat. His clothes were crumpled, his hair looked somewhat greasy, and there were stains on his face from what he ate earlier. Maybe he could do with a wash before he went out.

When David eventually did descend the stairs to his brothers, they were clearly unhappy with him, but they couldn’t stop the smiles that broke out on their faces at the sight of him. He wore a red and black jacket, a grey shirt and black jeans, which he (and others) considered a somewhat ‘signature look’. After what seemed too long a time spent gawking, Christian clapped his hands and brushed past David to the door.

“Shall we?”

•

The first thing James noticed about the venue they were at was that it was loud. So loud, in fact, that James could feel the bass in his chest, and hear the loudness even from across the room. Michelle, much like how she was at Jenny Joyce’s last party, was inebriated beyond belief, hanging off Erin with one hand and clinging to the banister with all her strength with the other.

James felt exposed here; if Michelle was sober, he’d feel less so since at least if someone had an issue with any of them, they’d have to deal with the curly haired fury that his cousin was. But with her drunk, James really felt as though that he was vulnerable to anyone who looked his way, even if they did so innocently. That’s why he was seeking refuge, wedged between Orla and Clare, the latter of whom had given him a sympathetic look.

“Nervous,” Clare asked and James scoffed derisively, though the tremble in his voice was obvious.

“N-No,” James stuttered, and sat back into the soft leather of the booth “I’m not, I’m just..” Clare raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Nervous,” she supplied. James sighed and his shoulders slumped, giving him the impression of an incredibly drunk individual.

“Yeah,” James confessed, scratching his neck awkwardly “it’s just- it feels like..”

“Everyone knows,” Clare guessed, and James gave the cherubic blonde a confused look “James, I’m gay too, if you’ve forgotten.” James could’ve slapped himself for such a simply mistake, but thankfully, a distraction came in the form of a bartender.

However, with swift turn of the head, James instantly recognised the bartender; Mei, the girl who attempted to humiliate Jenny (and succeeding, as well as humiliating the five of them in the process) at the prom for taking the dress the former had wanted. Mei looked from James to Clare, and gave a solid smirk.

“Well,” she said, lazily picking up some glasses that sat on the table “alright?” James and Clare both nodding, not knowing whether to be cordial or uncomfortable with the Donegal native with what had happened. After a few moments of silence, Mei continued.

“Still a lesbian,” she said to Clare, and Clare narrowed her eyes and nodded as though it was the most obvious thing in the world “Yeah, I assumed so..you look nice.” Clare’s eyes went from slits to the size of saucer’s in an instant, and Mei shook her head.

“Sorry, that was- I need to go,” Mei said hurriedly, and left without another word, leaving Clare and James in a stunned silence (disregarding the music in the background). James turned to Clare, and she did the same, and they both shared a confused look.

“Did Mei just..”

“Call you nice?”

They both nodded and sat back, thoroughly surprised at the turn of events. Clare especially, as the usually anxious ridden, and resolutely loud, girl was now sitting in a stunned silence. James just looked to Clare in a deep confusion, before speaking in a quiet tone, barely audible over the pulsing music. 

“I-I’m gonna get a drink,” James said, and got up without a word. Normally, he’d be terrified to go up, but he was too surprised to think straight, in truth. He never thought he’d encounter Mei again, especially after the dance fiasco. However, he had been proven wrong, which he felt was going to be a constant theme the more he was in Derry. James was so preoccupied as he stood at the bar, that he almost didn’t hear a voice next to him.

“Oh, well princess.”

James snapped his head to where the voice came from, and saw the happy smirk of David Donnelly. James himself broke out into a smile seeing the pale boy, and gave him a courteous nod. David took a sip of his drink and looked behind James.

“Where’re the girls,” David asked, before adding “or did you come here yourself?” James shook his head, and cocked it backwards.

“No, they’re over there,” James said “what about you?” David rolled his eyes and nodded to a small booth where a beefy, loud man and a handsome man that James could only describe as suave sat, each drinking their pints with ease.

“Friends?”

“Brothers.”

“Ah, I see,” James said, and paid for his drink. He was about to bid David a somewhat quiet goodbye, until David nodded to a door by the small booth.

“Wanna go to the smokin’ area,” the pale boy asked, and James didn’t know what took hold of him in that moment, but he nodded. He didn’t know David that well nor did he smoke, but something compelled him to say yes. David gave him a toothy grin and lead the way for both of them towards the door.

The smoking area was surprisingly sparse in James’s opinion. The only other people there were an older couple, wheezing in laughter and a worker who looked as though he wanted to be anywhere else. James and David found themselves two seats in the corner of the room, and David pulled out a cigarette. He offered one to the curly haired boy, but James refused instantly.

“No, I don’t smoke,” James said and David raised an eyebrow while he lit the cigarette.

“Then why’d you come down,” David asked, before he made a drawn out ‘oooh’ sound “oh, you care down here for me. Is that it princess?” James blushed, but gave a hearty scoff to offset it, and gave David a gentle smack on the arm.

“You think too highly of yourself,” James said and David gave him a small chuckle in response. James, at that point, questioned why he ever was scared to come out in the first place. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, in fact, it exceeded his expectations! 

“What you’re wearin’ is very..”

“Loud? Bad? Colourful,” James said in succession, drawing out a laugh from David.

“I was gonna say good, nice or even cute, but ok,” David said, before quickly adding “I-I mean those clothes are great, after all.” James nodded in agreement.

“So how‘re things since Jenny’s,” David asked, and James shrugged “so and so?” 

“Yeah,” the curly haired boy said, crossing one leg over the other as he sipped his drink “nothing out of the ordinary.

Other than the fact that you came out to Michelle and everyone else, but ok.

“Same with me,” David shrugged, taking a deep drag of his cigarette, and James stared for a moment at the shifting reds and oranges of the ignited end “I’ve just been buskin’, really.” 

“Like yesterday,” James said, and David pointed at him “yeah..sorry about Michelle springing that conversation on you. I know you’d’ve preferred to keep singing.” David raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

“Ah, not really,” David says “sometimes I need a break. Anyway, it was good to see you. Both of you! Both of you.” James, after a moment, gave a slow nod, and awkwardness filled the space between them. 

“Anyway, you two went shoppin’, didn’t you? Honestly, I didn’t picture you as the fashion type,” David said, trying to break free of the weirdness that settled between them. James, upon hearing that, could only give David a small, wandering laugh. 

“Yeah, still,” James said with a sigh and a shrug “I’m basically a walking stereotype, y’know? Of course the gay guy likes fashion.” The instant the words left James’s lips, he shut his mouth as though his tongue had been burned, and he felt his chest tighten when he saw David’s eyebrows furrow.

“You’re gay,” David asked after a few moments in an unnervingly quiet tone, and James swallowed the lump in his throat. 

Jesus Christ, David was never going to speak to him again, was he?

“Stop lookin’ so nervous James, I don’t mind,” David said, taking in how rigid James had turned “anyway, I’m probably the last person to judge you, really.” James felt relief flood his body, however, that was quickly replaced by curiosity. Surely, David didn’t mean..? No, couldn’t be.

After that, the conversation, seemed to die. Both of them just drank, and David smoked, as more people filled the smoking area, providing them with enough distractions to let them avoid talking to them. When James finally cast his eyes to David, minutes later, he saw them studying the floor intently.

Ask him James, ask him! You’re never gonna get this close to him again, are you? 

“David..”

“Yeah,” David said, looking up instantly, before draining the glass of the final few dregs of alcohol “somethin’ wrong princess?” James rolled his eyes at the nickname, eliciting a chuckle from David.

“Sorry, sorry,” David said, his tone indicating that he wasn’t really sorry at all “anyway, what’s wrong?” James opened his mouth to ask David something, but then a thought occurred to him; if he asked this, what if David got offended by it, and then didn’t want to talk to him or something even worse?

Either by the alcohol, or the delicateness of the situation, James thought that that thought made a lot of sense. Too much sense.

“I-It’s nothing,” James stuttered our, and David knitted his eyebrows together “no really, it’s nothing.” David raised en eyebrow, before nodding and setting his glass down.

“Look, I’d better be gettin’ back to my brothers upstairs,” David said, standing up from his seat, his hands in his pockets “but..uh, sorry if this sounds a bit forward, but maybe sometime if you’re not too busy-“

“JAMES!”

James whipped his head around to see a frantic Erin approaching him, almost tripping in her astronomically high heels. Her hair was awry and there was no sight of any of the other girls around. James threw his hands in the air and started.

“E-Erin? What’s wrong,” James asked an Erin sighed, with an irritated air.

“Fuckin’ Michelle got kicked out,” Erin explained, and James’s eyes widened “she called a bouncer a stupid fuck and tried to punch Mei for ruining her dress at the prom. She’s outside with Orla and Clare. C’mon, we have to go!” James rolled his eyes and stood up, turning to David.

“I’m sorry David, I have to go,” the curly haired brunette said, and squeezed the former’s arm, before Erin dragged him away, balancing herself against him from the precariousness of the heels. David tried to speak to them as they left, his voice rising in volume the further they got.

“Wait, James!”

But they were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, wrote this chapter super quick xoxo.
> 
> Thank you for all the love so far! It’s honestly so encouraging to see this so consistently, so thank you!
> 
> Again, if you want to see anything in the future chapters, just let me know and I’ll try my best to work it in!
> 
> Again, thanks for reading!
> 
> PS: I did this on no sleep, so don’t hold any spelling mistakes against me.


	6. Chapter 6

“I’ll fuckin’ kill that bouncer when I get my hands on him. I’ll fuckin knock him out, I’ll, I’ll-“

“Michelle, the bouncer would kill you.”

“Not if I kill him first.”

James could only snort in laughter at Erin and Michelle’s bickering. It had been a few days since they had left the bar, and they were now sat in school, but that had not calmed Michelle’s anger; in fact, it seemed it had festered and grown, and a new, extreme fury was pouring out of his cousin in the form of verbal vitriol. Grumbling, Michelle sat back into her chair, tugging her skirt to sit awkwardly over her legs.

As if the day couldn’t get any worse, a sugary sweet voice floated down the hallway, coming from none other than Jenny Joyce. The brunette girl looked elated as she walked down the hall towards the five of them, and James could sense Michelle already on the verge of telling the girl to leave, although in much more colourful language. Jenny came to a stop right before them, hands clasped behind her back. 

“Hi guys! Just wanted to let ye know, I’m holdin’ another little shindig, so, I hope to see you there,” Jenny said, her smile so large it looked as though it would ache beyond human endurance “this Friday, at 7 o’ clock!” Michelle gave Jenny the coldest look she could muster, but the gleeful girl was in another world of her own, and simply turned to each of them in turn, smiling widely.

“Yeah, we’ll be there Jenny,” James smiled, in hopes that that would cause the girl to leave and that the five of them could return to their own devices. Fortunately, that’s what happened, and the girl swung her braid over her shoulder, before walking down the hall, exuding nothing short of an overpowering happiness.

“You can fuck off if you think I’m goin’,” Michelle snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back with a scowl “last time I went to Jenny’s, I boked and had ball ache and David Donnelly looking after me.” James didn’t even react as he turned to Clare, who immediately shook her head, shrugging.

“My parents are having a party with my aunt, and I have to go it,” the cherubic girl said, an impassive expression sitting on her face “I mean, I wouldn’t have gone if I didn’t have that anyway.” Before James had even turned to Erin, the blonde girl was shaking her head wildly.

“Me and Dee are going for dinner,” she said, a smile slowly forming on her face “we’re going to-“

“Erin, I couldn’t give less of a shit,” Michelle interrupted, giving her a particularly severe side eye, and Erin immediately returned to silence, but James could still notice a tinge of pink staining her cheek. James, with a sinking feeling, turned to Orla and the brunette girl shrugged, knocking her curls from her shoulder.

“Aye, I’ll go,” Orla said, sitting back, before shoving a lollipop that hung from her tie into her awaiting mouth “but if I leave early ‘cause I’m bored, I’m not gonna find you.” James looked to each of the girls in turn, as if that would change their minds, and they all shook their heads, not even going to entertain the idea.

“James, I would literally rather lick the shit out of my own arsehole,” Michelle said, her tone curt and sharp, before adding “but if you are goin’, make sure to sneak some booze back for me.” James rolled his eyes with a slight groan, before sitting back into the chair, already anticipating the disappointment that the end of the week would bring, in the form of another Jenny Joyce party.

•

“Jenny Joyce’s havin’ a party on Friday.”

David looked up, his mouth hanging open. He had been caught in a lull of concentration, and it took him a few seconds to realise what his friend was saying. His friend grinned widely, and gesticulated, as if that would help David remember. The dark haired boy shook his head, causing his friend to roll his eyes and repeat himself.

“Jenny Joyce’s havin’ a party Friday, and we’re goin’,” David’s friend said, eyes bright and full of wonder “everyone says they’re gonna go.” David rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders with an intense apathy. He couldn’t care less about any party, truth be told. He found much more comfort in simply sitting in solitude, and working on his music.

“Tommy, I-“

“No excuses,” his friend interjected, with a raised eyebrow “you aren’t gettin’ out of this David. You had a good time anyway, last time, didn’t you?” David, as if affronted, let his dark eyebrows blend in with his hairline, mouth agape at his friend’s suggestion.

“Tommy, ye abandoned me, and I shared a room with Erin Quinn and her friends,” David said, deadpan, sitting back, his form slack “why the fuck would I find that fun?” Tommy shrugged dismissively.

“The point is you’re coming,” Tommy said “if you try to get out of it, you can kiss any lifts I give you, goodbye.” David’s mouth thinned to an almost invisible line, before rolling his eyes, defeated by his friend’s stubbornness.

“Fine,” David said “but I’m not cleanin’ up after you the next mornin’, or an’thin’.” Tommy smiled graciously, showing off a set of crooked teeth.

“I’d never ask you to,” Tommy said, before walking away, his smile wider than it was before he’d arrived.

David let out a low, rolling groan, before placing his face in his hands. He didn’t WANT to go to Jenny Joyce’s; those parties were always too proper, and not David’s style. Last time he went, it was just to loosen up after a bad week. This, however, was nothing more than an excuse for Nick to get totally uninhibited, while David would inevitably look after him.

But David needed Nick to get to gigs; and as much as David and Nick were close friends, David wouldn’t put it past the lanky boy to stick to his guns and deprive the noirette of such an important service, even if he deathly needed it. 

With an almost imperceptibly quite exhale, David resigned himself to his fate.

•

Friday had arrived, and James had warmed to the idea marginally. Orla was, as always, enjoying the idea of the party in ether; but James assumed she was happy, and still all for accompanying James to the event.

James surveyed himself in the mirror. Michelle had helped him with the outfit, but not out of kindness (not that James expected that, ever). No, she helped him, because, in her words: “I’m bored as all fuckin’ hell, so this’ll at least take up some time helpin’ you not look an absolute fuckin’ state around people I know.”

It warmed James’s heart, truly.

He adjusted the acid washed jeans, which hugged his waist, but otherwise were baggy. The cuffs were upturned, which at first James protested, but Michelle silenced him with an insult only his cousin could truly come up with. Other than that, he wore a form fitting t-shirt tucked into the jeans, and a pair of slightly worn trainers that Michelle picked out.

James rotated on the spot, trying to see the outfit from all angles. Michelle sat on her bed, cross legged, suckling on a red lollipop, eyes critically scrutinising the outfit. Finally, she popped the lollipop, and nodded. 

“You look decent, for once,” Michelle said “normally you look a right state, but I wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with you if you looked like this. Plus your arse looks good.” James blushed and snapped his head to his cousin, who had a ‘I dare you to say anything’ expression on her slim face.

“Do you think it’s too late to just say I can’t go,” James suggested weakly, placing his hands in his pockets “like, I’m sick or something?” Michelle shook her head.

“If there’s booze there, which there WILL be, you’re going and you’re bringin’ me back some,” Michelle said firmly, rising from her bed. James’s expression turned bewildered as he turned to his cousin, and threw his hands to the closed door.

“Then you go! I don’t want to,” James said, voice reaching a higher pitch.

“No, you won’t catch me dead at another Jenny Joyce party,” Michelle said “plus, she doesn’t really like me.”

“She invited you!”

“She’d invite Ian fuckin’ Paisley if she had to make the numbers up,” Michelle said, her tone turning very sour “now go! Orla’s waiting downstairs, and I’m gonna get sick if I keep lookin’ at you.”

There was the usual Michelle that James knew.

Orla wore her hair in two small buns atop her head, and had a small bit of eyeliner on. She wore flannel wrapped around her waist, a black t shirt and a pair of tracksuit bottoms; the polar opposite of James. However, she didn’t seem to notice her noticeably less dressed up form as she saw James.

“James, you look well,” Orla said, her voice sounding impressed. James smiled, and nodded to her.

“Thank you Orla-“

“I might try to rob you at some point, you have nice stuff,” Orla said, before breezing past James to the door. James stood there, rooted to the spot, before shaking his head, and following Orla into the night air. It was cutting, and James now wished he’d brought a jacket as he walked towards Jenny Joyce’s.

They heard the party before they saw it; but once again, the breadth of Jenny’s house momentarily left James stunned, and he would’ve stayed where he stood if Orla didn’t keep dragging him towards the front door, her mouth salivating over the thought of food, specifically marshmallows.

The noise rolled over them as they entered the room, which was washed with a mix of pink’s and blues. Orla quickly scuttled over to the food table, which James quickly followed at. Now himself bathed in pink, James stayed next to Orla as she essentially stuck her head into the chocolate fountain. 

James surveyed the room, and had to feel sorry for Jenny, really. People spilled drink and dropped food without a thought over a rug that James could only think of as something that was worth everything he’d ever owned, all together. Biting his lip, he continued looking across the room.

It was a few minutes later when his eyes connected with the dark orbs of David Donelly who remained firmly in an ocean of blue’s. As if telepathically linked, David’s eyes swivelled to meet James’s. With a genuine grin, David sauntered over to James, his pace slow, but determined as he waded through an ever increasing crowd.

“Look who it is, princess,” David said, as soon as James was within earshot “you look well.” James blushed, but did not feel the typical nervousness that usually overtook him like usual; instead, he blushed because..well, because someone attractive just complimented him.

“You too,” James said, surveying David’s moderately muscled form. His hair was wavy and covered his forehead, as well as a part of his eyes. He had on tight, black jeans, flannel similar to Orla’s, and a shirt underneath, as well as rings on his fingers.

“Aw, you flatter me,” David said with a chuckle, and James joined in with a giggle of his own “Orla enjoying herself?” James turned to where David was gesturing, and saw Orla devour food with such speed that it looked as though she inhaled it.

“I..think so,” James said in a questioning tone “I don’t know how she could eat that much at all.” David shrugged.

“It is what it is,” David said, and leant against the wall, facing James “so, what’re your plans for tonight?”  
James shrugged, scoffing at the idea of planning a night ahead.

“Nothing,” James confessed “I just came here ‘cause I thought it would be fun, but only Orla came. What about you?” David rolled his eyes. 

“My friend fucked off two minutes in, chasin’ some young one,” David said, with a hint of venom in his voice “I only came here because he made me.” James smiled sympathetically, and soon words were pouring out of his lips before he could filter them.

“Well, I’m glad you came,” James said, rubbing David’s muscular arm “at least I have someone to talk to.” James could feel David’s arm tense under the brunette’s touch, and quickly retracted it. David looked to the floor bashfully, before looking back at James with clear anxiety.

“Listen James, I-“

“Alright guys, it’s time for the dance along,” Jenny suddenly interjected from the front of the room, microphone in hand and her screeches filling every nook and cranny of the house “so just, dance along!” James squinted, before turning back to David, shouting over the din, not audible to the noirette.

“WHAT-DID-YOU-SAY,” James said as the familiar sound of a pop classic filled the room. David thinned his lips, and grabbed James’s hand, and started to lead him to the garden, annoyance written on his face.

Once they were outside in Jenny Joyce’s back garden, which was devoid of people, David finally let out a somewhat content sigh, now away from the noise and crowd. David started to walk ahead, but when he realised he still held James hand, he dropped it instantly as if the touch burned him.

“S-Sorry there princess,” David said, trying to force the normalcy “didn’t want to lose you in the crowd, after all.” James nodded, his face clearly apprehensive, but when David cocked his head to walk around the perimeter of the garden, James obliged immediately.

“James, can I..tell you something,” David said, as they started to reach the back of the garden, his voice quiet and thick with discomfort. James turned to meet his gaze, and nodded, eyebrows knitting together.

“Ok. What’s wrong,” James asked, his tone confused. David’s heart beat wildly as he started to speak.

“I don’t want you to, uh, think of me differently-“

“David just say it,” James said, laughing at David’s almost sudden awkwardness, which seemed to appear out of nowhere. David pursed his lips, before nodding, closing his eyes.

“I..I want to kiss you.”

In an instant, the air seemed to vanish from around them, as well as the house too. It was just them, in that moment, beneath the moonlight. James felt his heart both rise with elation and also anxiety as what David said really set in.

“David-“

“Actually, I-I..I’m sorry,” David stuttered, his face now sporting an expression of utmost horror “I’m sorry, forget anything I’ve said.” Almost at an intense rush, David brushed past James, fully intending to forget what just happened and to swear James to silence.

Until he felt a slim hand grab his.

James pulled David back, with some difficulty, so that both of them stood beneath the moonlight, their breathing heavier than it should’ve been. David stepped closer to James, an inch or two taller, as they entered the shadows further, the only light being from the crescent above them.

Instinctively, David’s hands drifted to James’s slim waist, as the curly haired boy’s hands moved to David’s shoulders. Their breathing could be felt on each other’s faces, and David let his eyes flicker to James’s, which were alive with excitement.

“If you wanted to kiss me,” James whispered, lips ghosting David’s “then just do.”

David’s lips met James’s in an almost hesitant, wanting kiss, and James returned it with more nervousness than he could’ve anticipated. They were both afraid to move, in case it changed the dynamic, or they’d wake up and see it was all a dream. 

However, not long after, David pressed his tongue against James’s lips, which parted instantly to allow entry; both began to move their bodies closer, their voices now breaking through their kiss in the form of grunts and moans.

James clutched at David’s dark locks, and couldn’t help a girlish moan escape as the noirette grabbed James’s ass hungrily. The brunette expected it, to an extent, but having David’s hand actually grab it was a new sensation.

When a particularly loud yell from the house roused them both from the kiss, they relaxed slightly, hands moving back to the shoulders and waist respectively. James grinned, over the moon with himself, and looked to the grass before back to David.

“Did..did you enjoy that,” James asked, and David let out a single exclamation of a laugh.

“That I did princess,” David said “that I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I’m so so so sorry about the wait for this one. I had exams, work, and personal stuff, but I finally, *finally*, managed to finish it.
> 
> Yes, the quality has dipped considerably from last chapter, and I should look over it and do everything better, but this chapter was written at nearly 2AM, so I really don’t have the energy.
> 
> Sorry if it’s bad quality, I just really need to go to bed. Thanks for reading, and drop a kudos/comment!


End file.
